On the issue of praise...

Has it ever occurred to you how often and easily we criticize those around us. Not willingly, but readily little comments slip out. Often it is not so much what we say, but what we don't say or the looks we give someone. I know, that you know what I am talking about... is it not?
It was brought to my attention again this week, when after a long day of 'trouble shooting' the dinner I made wasn't so much appreciated. I could have done with some understanding instead. The little comment made, it was only little, had me feeling even more tired than I already was. I'm just as guilty often, I am not proud to say... 
Have you ever thought about who actually benefits from criticism? The effect of it is two-fold:

• The recipient is brought down, often left with a feeling of humiliation and resentment towards the giver and discouraged to try again.
• As the giver we may have a temporary feeling of triumph, but not long-lasting, instead the disgruntle and disturbed relationship have a negative effect, often opposite of what we wanted to achieve.

But, lets talk about praise as being the opposite of criticism! The side effects of praise are many:

• As the recipient of praise we feel encouraged AND empowered;
• It motivates us to do even better, it lifts the barr so to speak;
• It boosts our self-esteem;
• And our respect for the giver grows!

Isn't this the effect we would like to have on our children, spouses, staff?
But wait there's more... :-) There are also benefits for the giver:

• When we consiously give praise where praise is due we allow ourself to come out of our little square box and enlarge our view;
• It boosts our self-respect when we see the effect it has on the receiver;
• We start to create a culture of appreciation and respect, motivating those around us.

We could talk about deposits and withdrawals of our emotional bank-accounts, but that's a topic in itself, for another post perhaps.

But hey, come on, let's try a little praise this week. A couple of words of praise for our team members and family members and see what the effects are. I'd like to hear from you!

Bye for now!
Mathilde